Playtime
by LecTRicK.RaiNBoW
Summary: CRACK: Lavi kidnaps Allen, has his way with him. Tyki goes to save him, but ends up joining in on the fun? Rated M for future chapters. Possibly OOC, and definite Laven & Poker Pair. My sister told me this would never happen, so I decided to write it.
1. Rapetime

A/N: Argh. Sorry I haven't been writing in a while, guys. And I _know _this isn't an update to _Shades _but I had free time during school today, which is why I started writing this. I _was_ planning on continuing _Shades_, but it's been so long that I forgot where I left off. (Sadface.) Anyway, here's something new, that my sister said would "never happen", so I decided to write it. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

It was an oddly quiet day at the Order. Both Kanda and Lenalee were on missions, Lenalee's probably having more to do with travelling than actually hunting Akuma, and Lavi was much too preoccupied with some _"plans"_ of his to bother with Allen. The quiet was going a little beyond eerie, according to the silvery-white-haired teen.

Allen, despite being the genius he was, had no idea how to keep himself busy. He had already eaten all of the _leftovers_ in the building, and Jeryy wouldn't allow him another meal until 'at least eight thirty'. The clock had just barely passed noon, so he had _eight-and-a-half hours_ to wait yet.

'_Damn. What to do?_' His poor, boredom-filled brain still hadn't even _begun_ to receive ideas.

Here we go! He could always go check on the lab, but fear of becoming Komui's guinea pig held him back from going anywhere near it unless ordered to do so. However, that was his only idea so far, and it _did_ begin to sound more and more tempting the more he thought of it. In fact, as he went over the pros and cons inside his head, unaware of his surroundings, he was subconsciously heading toward said lab.

'_Hey, is that..?_' It was.

Allen had spotted Lavi, who also seemed to be heading toward the lab, flipping rapidly back-and-forth through pages in a notebook, as if he was possibly... looking for something? Something... important? _Suspicious_? No, what could he possibly be looking for that would be _that_ important?

So Allen ignored his better instincts.

"Hey, Lavi!" He called to the redhead; no response. "Hey, hey. Lavi? Errm.. what's up? What's in the notebook?" He continued, nearing the older teen to the point where he was almost hovering over his shoulder.

Lavi continued not to notice his albino shoulder-monkey's presence.

Managing to catch the tiniest glimpse of a few lines on one of the pages, he cocked an eyebrow. "Whoah, seriously. What _is_ that?"

He attempted to snatch the book.

Too bad for Allen, he was not quite quick enough to accomplish this goal. Lavi had managed to duck as soon as Allen's arm came into view, causing the other boy to fall on top of him and knocking the notes out of his arms.

"_Hey_, Allen, baby." He winked. "Miss me already? It's only been a few hours." He continued in his flirtatious banter.

After crashing, Allen looked into the redhead's gorgeous, sparkling, green eye... and eyepatch. He began to blush; partly because he was embarrassed about his lack of agility, partly because he was angry, but mostly because of his _undying_ (deeply subconscious) desires to get into Lavi's pants. Rather, as a teen-aged boy, anyone's pants, really.

Facial colours returning to their norm, he picked himself up off the ground, brushing off any shoe-dirt that might have managed its way onto his clothing during the fall, and sighed, his expression turning from one of embarrassment, back into curiosity, and a small amount of fear of what knowledge that notebook's pages might hold.

"La--" He was cut off before he could even get out the second syllable.

"I _know_ how you feel. And I _promise_: we'll get to that. But you'll _need _to wait just a little while longer. Trust me, it's hurting me _just_ as much as it's hurting you, but I'll make the wait worth your while." With a cocky smirk, Lavi gathered the notebook back into his arms, and continued strutting along his path to the lab, still hunting for whatever it was that he needed to be so secretive about.

Allen wasn't surprised with Lavi's behaviour. Neither was he impressed, and he _certainly_ did _not_ want to know _what_ Lavi was going on about. He finally decided to give up on looking for something to do, and no longer wanting to even imagine the slightest of Lavi's scheme, he returned to his room to take a nap. Who knows? If he was lucky, he'd be able to eat again soon after he woke up.

**------||------**

No matter what Allen would think of him afterwards, Lavi just _needed_ to go through with this plan. He'd spent the last few weeks very carefully laying it out, finally finishing the written plans within the past few hours he'd been hauled up in his room. Now he just needed to make a few preparations and wait for the right opportunity to proceed. That's why he was headed toward the lab. He needed to borrow a specific type of sleeping medicine from Komui.

Easy as cake. Just lie about having insomnia, right?

"KOMUI!" Lavi shouted, pointing to the name of a chemical next to its formula on a page as he approached the Chinese scientist. "I need some of this."

Komui eyed the page suspiciously, familiar with Lavi's, well, gender, and worried for the innocence of his little sister by instinct, despite the fact that she was currently far, far away from the Black Order on her mission. "What are you up to now?" He moved his glare from the notebook to the boy's face.

"N-nothing, I just.. haven't been sleeping very well lately. I've tried a bunch of the other things that I found lying around, but nothing has worked so far. I've done some research, and I think this would be perfect for my situation." He grinned, confident that Komui would fall for his blatant lie.

"Right, well." He murmured something incomprehensible, about 'teenagers' and their 'drug problems', and continued with, "Wait right here while I go get it."

Lavi watched the man walk into a different room, releasing a light chuckle at his ignorance in the matter, and recomposed himself as Komui returned, handing him a light paper packet.

"Now, taking just _one_ of these should knock you out within minutes for _at least_ ten hours. I don't expect you to be back for more for _at least_ two months. And I _will_ be checking up on you weekly to make sure you aren't administering them to any.. particular female..." He stared for a moment, brooding on all of the things one could accomplish with a person who had consumed this drug, then snapped at the redhead, who seemed to be amused by him spacing out. "Now go. Get out before I change my mind and use you for an experiment instead!"

Lavi obeyed, leaving the lab, and smirked as he went on his way.

The redhead decided that nothing would make him happier than for the rest of his plan to go this swimmingly.

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Review? :D

Also, crack. Feel free to drop suggestions. They would be welcomed.

Betaread by Darmed. (She's on my favorite author list~.)


	2. Dinnertime

A/N: Welcome to the next exciting installment of _Playtime_!

I'd like to mention, this chapter is dedicated to my sister, MissusAnn, for her birthday and my good friend, Darmed, whom just woke up from a temporary coma due to being hit by a CAR. Damned motor vehicles. Dx Even though I know they both like _Shades _better. I'm dedicating the next chapter of that story to them, too, though, of course. They just have to wait longer for that one. (: (I probably mentioned this before, but I'm taking turns updating the two stories.)

* * *

After securing his notebook and the suspicious sleeping pills back in his room, Lavi had immediately begun his hunt for the currently napping Allen.

It began in the cafeteria.

"Jeryy!" Lavi shouted as he approached the window of the lilac-haired chef. "Heeey, Jer-bear." He examined his surroundings, which were, much to his surprise and dismay, very lacking in albino teen males. "Why isn't Allen here? You haven't seen him within the past few hours, have you?"

Jeryy made a face at Lavi. An angry face. "Nope. He's not here. I banned him from food until _at least eight-thirty_. He shouldn't be back here for a few hours yet."

Lavi countered his angry face with a flirty grin. He wanted to say something like _"How could you do something so cruel to my poor, sparkling, innocent, adorable little Allen?", _because that was how Lavi saw Allen, but he didn't want to voice this opinion before commencing his plan. Instead, he thanked him for his so-called "help", and ventured straight on over to said poor, sparkling, innocent, adorable male's bedroom. Lavi had no time to waste looking throughout the whole building to find him, he had to go straight to the most likely place. If Allen wasn't in at the time, Lavi would wait until he was.

Lavi knocked on the door.

"Hello? Alleeeen...?" He barely heard some mumbling, then some snoring noises.

_'Asleep, huh? Well, not for long!'_ Inner Lavi smirked, as outer Lavi began pounding violently on the door. "Allen! Allen! Let me in, Allen!" He was beginning to grow impatient of the other teens response, or lack thereof.

After a few more minutes of pounding and shouting, Lavi decided it was time to figuratively pull out the "heavy machinery". His fail proof method of always getting Allen's attention.

"Allen! I have food!" He cried, leaning on the door and rubbing his now very red and sore fists.

Without hesitation, the door immediately opened, and the two were once again a tangled mass of limbs.

"Ohh, Allen. This is the second time today we've ended up like this, you little rascal, you." Lavi winked and a snarky grin plastered itself to his face. He pinned the other teen's arms in place below him, licking, then proceeding to bite his lips seductively.

Allen yawned, pulling his arm up about a millimeter from the ground in an attempt to rub his eyes, and, realizing his attempt was futile, allowed it to be pushed back to the ground without fighting Lavi. Instead, he raised a perturbed eyebrow and smacked his lips together in an attempt to bring moisture back to his dry mouth.

"I thought there was food?" The sleepy teen murmured drowsily, his high-pitched voice slightly raspy from just having woken up.

"Oh, there _is_ food, you just have to follow me if you want it." Lavi's smirk became more prominent, a shifty glint in his eye which both disappeared as he loosened his grip on Allen's wrists. Releasing his hold entirely, he rolled onto his side on the ground, getting off of Allen, and pushed himself back up, carefully brushing dirt off of his side and knees. He held out a hand to help Allen back to his feet as well, and the younger male accepted it...only to be immediately drug along by Lavi.

Allen looked around befuddled as he was pulled through hallways he wasn't sure he had seen before. Of course, not recognizing these corridors could have been partially because he was still half-asleep, but decidedly ruled that explanation out before it had even come to mind. Which was probably better for him, as it was true that he had never wandered these particular paths before, but arguably difficult for Lavi.

"Laaaviii, where are you taaaking mee?" He questioned as suspiciously as he could in his still sleepy voice, apparently holding out the words "Lavi", "taking", and "me".

"You'll see, you'll see. Just wait." He restrained a chuckle.

Soon enough, the two of them were outside the Black Order, on a narrow dirt path heading into a forest. Allen still had no realization of what was going on. Poor Allen. What a pity for the innocent, sparkling, young youth that he was about to fall into such a trap.

Within a few minutes on the path, the two arrived upon a run-down, rickety, old-looking shed.

"Come on, Allen! Just a little bit farther! The food is right inside those doors!"

"Really?!" Allen was suddenly wide-eyed, despite his remaining post-nap disorientation.

"Yeah! Go on! Take a look! I made your favorites!"

Needless to say, Allen yanked away from Lavi and ran at full speed straight through the not-so-surprisingly conveniently-swung-open doors, only to be greeted by a long table filled with the promised favorite foods of the young Allen Walker. He thought he had died and gone to heaven.

"Oh. My. God." Allen stared at the table, drooling. "OHMYGODOHMYGOD." He approached the food, taking in the delicious aromas and savoring them as much as he could. Without taking even a mere second to think, he immediately started devouring everything in sight. A few moments later, in the midst of chewing a rather large bite from a chicken leg, he remembered his manners momentarily. "Thank you so much, Lavi! This is amazing!"

As he turned around, he heard a sound that sounded eerily similar to a lock clicking.

"Nooo problem, baby," said Lavi, turning away from the door with a cocky smirk on his face.

**-----|This is a divider, obby.|-----**

Somewhere in a different part of the planet, a handsome, dark-skinned, seductively handsome man scratched his head in confusion during the middle of his poker game, for he had also heard this lock-click, except the room he was in had no locks to have been locked.

"Tyki? Tyki, it's your turn. Hey! Are you listening?"

The man jumped a bit, startled from his thought by the other voice. "Uh.. yeah, sorry." He looked at his hand and attempted to grin a blatant bluff, but was too distracted by the noise he had just heard and looked back up at the other players. "Hey, did you guys hear that just now?"

"Hear what?" The first man asked, cocking a brow.

"A clicking noise, like a lock.."

"Nope." The second man said.

"You okay, man? There ain't any locks to be clicked in this building except on the front door." The first man worried.

"Huh. Weird. Well, gentlemen, I'm sorry to leave you hanging here, but I really must be on my way." He pulled on his jacket and was off, allowing a strange tugging in his mind to guide him to wherever it was he felt he needed to be.

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Hope you enjoyed! Review now? :D

Next time, on _Playtime_, our hero will..... continue his existence!


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